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Dear twitchy-guy riding the bus and wearing an Iron Maiden hoodie,

Please don’t hit on the young lady in the Slipknot T-shirt. It’s the musical equivalence of incest. Besides, she doesn’t like you and the bus driver is ready to throw you off the bus.

Further, having consumed moderate amounts of Iron Maiden during the Seventh Son of a Seventh Son and No Prayer for the Dying era, your ear-bud induced convulsions are a poor imitation of Nicko McBrain’s thunderous drum work.

Sincerely,
Annoyed-undercaffeinated bus rider