When you unplug from social network do your friends disappear too?

Recently, a workplace policy has me thinking about online and offline time as well as social network sites and the nature of friendship. I’m sure I’m not the only one who deals with the challenges of separating work and home life with instant connectivity through mobile devices and laptops nursing on wifi signals. A decade ago, the separation between what goes on at the office and what goes on at home were clearly marked. Early in my career, co-workers and friends would mingle after hours — leaving whatever happened at the office at the office. Some nights we’d hangout at The Village Café, Coffee Underground, a movie theater, a bowling alley, or congregate at someones apartment to watch the latest episode of Party of Five. But the last few years I’ve noticed myself never quite leaving the office at the office. Projects follow me home like a shadow and even on vacation. Obsessively I check emails late at night because I know coworkers are at home doing the same thing — working around the clock.

‘Divide your day into online and offline,’ writes Stephen Elliott in a Poets & Writers article [1] I quoted a few years ago in a post [2] published [3] on a writers blog. That’s easy for him to say, I thought to myself. He doesn’t work for a media organization that has to constantly feed the beast — the Internet — that never sleeps. But I was wrong to think along those lines. An organization can ritualize the release of online content in much the same way that the online consumers ritualize their access of the online content.

Internet restrictions to social media sites (like Facebook and Twitter) and web streaming sites (like YouTube and LastFM) avoid excessive bandwidth usage. Or at least that’s what I’ve been told by the office’s IT department. Some of you reading this might think it unfair that management places this restrictions on employees. Some of you might even think it is the right of employees to have unrestricted internet access at office computers. In some regards, I might agree with you, and in some regards I might disagree with you.

I’ve had several months to consider this change in workplace environment. First, I confess that until August I brought my on laptop to work — as I’ve done for years — and used it to go about my business of producing audio podcasts, publishing books and other related graphic design projects. But I must also confess that throughout the work day I would often carry on casual conversations via Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and other social network sites. But when the company purchased a new laptop for me to use, things change. After all, the machine they purchased is not my laptop. It’s the company’s laptop and therefore all I do on that machine should be work related, correct? Before the company provided a new laptop, my attitude was: ‘This is my laptop that I purchased with my earnings. The software is mine. All the apps are mine. All the silly desktops and screensavers are mine. And since it’s mine, I can do what I want on it.’ But my attitude has since changed. The new, company-owned laptop with all its new company-owned software is not mine. I use it for business in much the same fashion I would a rent an auto for a business trip. At the end of the day I return it — actually, I leave the company-owned laptop at the office — as I received it.

The second thing I noticed is the virtual blindness I feel from the restrictions of my daily social media diet. It’s not as if I had disappeared from social media entirely. I was restricted from updating Facebook statuses a few times a day or from tweeting as least once an hour — or more. So, I’d return home from the office. After the kidlingers were sent to bed, I would sign into various social network sites and try to maintain those conversations. But social media conversations are really strained when they occur once a day rather than periodically throughout the day. At a social media school, Gary of G Social Media, [4] mentioned that your tweet may be viewed by 10% of your Twitter — or social media — audience. He encouraged people to tweet something twice to reach a large portion of your social media audience. The science of tweeting and retweeting [5] is still a rather young field, but Gary has a valid point. The challenge I discovered is that most people are offline — or at least not checking their Twitter or Facebook account — at 10 p.m. I’ve missed a few Tweet-ups due to this social network disruption, but I was able to catch up with other people in real life.

This brings me to the idea of friendship as it relates to social networks. Socrates taught that there is no greater thing than a good, sincere friend. [6] But is this idea akin to collecting Facebook ‘friends’ for the mere fact of voyeuristically peeping in on their lives? Was Socrates saying that friends are objects to possess? One of the things I really enjoy about Twitter is the tweet-ups that result from online conversations. I’ve met new people in real life through Twitter connections — some personal and some professional. But I don’t hear much from the Twitter crowd since the new internet restrictions have been in place at the office. And though I try to maintain social network connections after work hours it makes me wonder how well Twitter ‘friends’ translate to real life ‘friends’ or whether you can be a ‘friend’ without Twitter? Socrates observed that people are often more reckless in their friendships than their stuff. Have I been careless with my friendships online and offline? I’ve been thinking about that question for awhile. In Mark Vernon’s article on friendship, [7] he mentions that Aristotle taught that there is an immediate desire for friendship, but that friendship is not immediate. From that I deduce that friendships take time to nurture and maintain. With the speed of social media networks, I wonder if it is nearly impossible to properly nurture friendships. It seems that people eagerly accumulate ‘friends’ on Facebook and Twitter, but deep friendship requires more than a laptop and the internet.

While researching and composing this piece, NPR ran a story [8] about a Pennsylvania university that blocked Facebook and Twitter for a week. I saw their story link on Facebook and added the following comment:

A policy of no Twitter nor Facebook was put in practice about a month ago at the office where I work. I don’t know if productivity has improved, but I have observed that some co-workers appear to be more accessible.

What I didn’t mention in the comment section of NPR’s Facebook page is that I’ve been catching up on night stand reading material including books on business strategy, spirituality, poetry and an entire print issue of The Writer’s Chronicle. I’ve made a new acquaintance on the bus route and at the local coffee shop. Further, I began writing this piece almost three months ago and have delayed posting it because new articles and opinions continue to emerge. For example, CEO of Behance, Scott Belsky, recently provided solutions to disconnect from online distractions based his question of why we choose distraction over downtime. [9] Along Mr. Belsky’s line of thinking, I’ve eliminated Facebook distraction all together (full disclosure: the fact that my WordPress blog posts aggregate to Facebook, Tumblr and Twitter does not mean I actually log in to those services) and sought out ‘sacred’ spaces for downtime. It is not my intent to demonize the 500 million users for spending 700 billion minutes a month on Facebook. [10] To be honest (and I’ll have to explore this in another post), I’ve used Facebook affectively to promote events with great success. But I also know that a ‘man’s got to know his limitations.’ [11] So I’m taking a hiatus of sorts from online distractions in order to focus on nurturing relationships with family and friends.

[1] Surviving a Month Without Internet [2] Unplugged [3] Info diet [4] G Social Media [5] Science of Retweeting [6] Socrates on Friendship [7] What is friendship? [8] Pa. University Bans Facebook, Twitter For A Week [9] What Happened to Downtime? The Extinction of Deep Thinking & Sacred Space [10] Facebook statistics [11] Harry Callahan

Human intelligence

The underestimation of the human intelligence is the worst sin of our time…

Mortimer J. Adler

Field notes

Who spends $125 at Dollar General store? Apparently the woman in front of me. And there’s only one line. *shaking my head* All I wanted was a single bag of candy corn for $1.

Field notes

It’s a nice day for a quick walk outside on my work break. I stopped by @MyDollarGeneral (yes, they have a twitter acct) to purchase some post-halloween snackage and a woman shopping asked me where to find the soap.

‘I don’t know,’ I told her.

‘Oh,’ she said. ‘So, you don’t work here?’

‘No,’ I said. 

I guess I’m still wearing my halloween costume. I look like I work at a Dollar General store. 

View of Asheville from the Roof Garden

The sun is setting. The full moon is rising. The room is set up for tonight’s poetry reading and jazz show. The dark mocha stout cupcakes with…

Rooftop Poets party tonight, 8 p.m.

The Rooftop Poets event has begun

Rooftop Poets Event Program

Rooftop Poets: the doors are open

Battery Park Hotel

It’s 7:30PM! The doors are open and guests are arriving outside the Battery Park Hotel. Time to make my way to the Roof Garden.

Rooftop Poets party tonight, 8 p.m.

View of Asheville from the Roof Garden

The sun is setting. The full moon is rising. The room is set up for tonight’s poetry reading and jazz show. The dark mocha stout cupcakes with Bailey’s frosting look tasty. The supremo chocolate rum balls look like they could break several Prohibition-era laws. Time to get ready for the show.

The doors open at 7:30PM and the event begins at 8PM. Tickets are $10 each. Guests arriving at the Battery Park Hotel will be let in by a doorman who will have your name on a guest list.

See you all in less than two hours!

Poetry at the Roof Garden

Roof Garden Ballroom

Time to set up the Roof Garden of the Battery Park Hotel for tonight’s Prohibition-era poetry reading and jazz show.

More event details are here: link.

Poetry and Jazz at the Roof Garden

Battery Park Hotel: Roof Garden

In September an idea was born to hold a poetry reading under a full moon at the Roof Garden of the Battery Park Hotel. Tonight is the culmination of that idea.

Few people have access to the Roof Garden. Join the Rooftop Poets for a fine evening of poems, songs and full-moon revelry. Doors open at 7:30PM and the event begins at 8PM. Tickets are $10 each. Guests arriving at the Battery Park Hotel will be let in by a doorman who will have your name on a guest list. If you’re not on the guest list, you have to ask yourself, why not?

Tonight’s Rooftop Poets

Historic Battery Park Hotel

After some homemade latte and a walk through Asheville’s autumn splendor, I’ll wrap a couple last minute details and then head downtown to the Battery Park Hotel.

For tonight’s event, the doors open at 7:30PM and the event begins at 8PM. Tickets are $10 each. Guests arriving at the Battery Park Hotel will be let in by a doorman who will have your name on a guest list.

Tonight: Rooftop Poets: with music by Vendetta Creme and Aaron Price

Listen to music samples of Vendetta Creme, the featured musical guests for the Roof Garden event. The doors open and the band starts playing at 7:30 p.m. The poetry reading begins at 8 p.m.

A poetry reading and jazz show on the Roof Garden of the Battery Park Hotel

Rooftop Poets
Barbara Gravelle, Matthew Mulder, Brian Sneeden
with music by Vendetta Creme & Aaron Price
1 Battle Square, Asheville, North Carolina
Friday, October 22 · 8:00pm – until
doors open at 7:30pm — event begins at 8:00pm

In celebration of the publication of Barbara Gravelle’s latest book, Poet on the Roof of the World, join the Rooftop Poets under a full moon on the Roof Garden of the Battery Park Hotel for a Prohibition-era poetry reading, book-signing and jazz show.

Local poets Barbara Gravelle, Matthew Mulder and Brian Sneeden will perform alongside the French jazz music sensations Vendetta Creme and Aaron Price at the Roof Garden of the illustrious Battery Park Hotel.

Tickets are $10 and include a signed and numbered, limited-edition, 64-page book of poems featuring the work of all three poets, as well as complimentary light refreshments and hors d’oeuvres.

Few people have access to the Battery Park Hotel’s Roof Garden. Join us for a fine evening of poems, songs and full-moon revelry.

Space is limited. Reserve your tickets today by emailing: info@coffeehousejunkie.com

The evening’s cast of characters include:

Barbara Gravelle, author of several poetry books including, Keepsake, Dancing the Naked Dance of Love, and her latest collection of poems, Poet on the Roof of the World.

Matthew Mulder, one of the original members of the Traveling Bonfires, his poetry and prose have appeared or are forthcoming in Crab Creek Review, Small Press Review, The Indie, H_NGM_N, and other publications.

Brian Sneeden has produced, designed or written for more than a hundred theatrical performances. He is the current director and MC of Asheville Vaudeville.

Cabaret singer Vendetta Creme (aka Kelly Barrow) and Aaron Price (piano, guitar) perform lesser-known songs from yesteryear. This duo scour the globe for their songs including material from five continents weaved into a seamless, unforgettable show.

Field notes

yes, i’m addicted to tweetdeck… but i can stop anytime… if i have too… starting next week…

Missio Dei Music – Alas and did My Savior Bleed

http://assets.tumblr.com/swf/audio_player.swf?audio_file=http://www.tumblr.com/audio_file/1305681514/tumblr_l8phbhx70I1qzokty&color=FFFFFF

thomasfitzpatrick:

This is my band at church doing the old hymn “Alas and did my Savior Bleed” by Isaac Watts that was adapted by Sojourn Community

it’s just a rough recording, but i like that you can hear feedback in parts.

and sour notes.

but especially the baby in the beginning.

simply recorded by Jason.

Field notes

When the shadow of Piney Mountain slowly gives way to sunrise, the verdant Gatsby evening gown slips off the golden shoulder of Beaucather Mountains.

Missio Dei Music – Oh my Soul 11

http://assets.tumblr.com/swf/audio_player.swf?audio_file=http://www.tumblr.com/audio_file/1305831544/tumblr_l9uk0x1xUl1qzokty&color=FFFFFF

thomasfitzpatrick:

This is my band at church doing a song from The Northern Conspiracy (from Mars Hill Church) “What Have We Done”.

it’s a rough recording, but I like Josh on the Cello.

simply recorded by Jason.

Two questions on a Monday afternoon

 

Historic Battery Park Apartments, Asheville, North Carolina
Battery Park Apartments

 

  1. How many of you have seen Asheville from the Garden Roof of the historic Battery Park Apartments?
  2. How many of you would like to see Asheville from the Garden Roof of the historic Battery Park Apartments?

Field notes

i’m sorting through last years sales numbers. for a small press, i projected to sell 1500 books. looks like 1600 sold. 

A house without books…

Ein Haus ohne Bücher ist arm, auch wenn schöne Teppiche seinen Boden und kostbare Tapeten und Bilder die Wände bedecken.

(A house without books is poor, even if beautiful carpets cover its floor and expensive wallpapers cover the walls.)

Hermann Hesse (via germanheit)

Confessions : 09

00. It has been many moons since my last confession.

01. I awoke at 5 a.m.

02. A few years ago Janely (janely.blogspot.com) inspired me to write confession posts.

03. My blogging has been on autopilot (thanks to scheduling features on WordPress and Tumblr) during the last couple months…

04. due to a change in policy at the office that restricts access to social media sites (like Twitter) and webstreaming sites (like Youtube).

05. The transition from audio production to graphic design and back is more challenging than I anticipated.

06. I have yet to turn on the home’s heating system despite the fact that outside nightly temperatures have dipped into the low 40s.

07. I finished designing a poetry anthology book…

08. and sent it to the printing press yesterday.

09. I’m listening to the The Wall Street Journal This Morning podcast.

10. I’m currently reading The Financial Lives of the Poets by Jess Walter as well as a dozen other book titles.

Previous confessions: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

I believe in coffee

brocatus:

via whileyouwereout

amen

(via macaroononastick)

Poetry at the Pulp presents feature poet Landon Godfrey

About a month ago I visited the Orange Peel’s private club PULP for an open mic event. The event featured Keith Flynn and the Holy Men followed by an open mic. This weekend I read on the Asheville Poetry Review Facebook page:

POETRY AT THE PULP open mic night on Wednesday, October 6 at 7pm. Sponsored by Wordfest and The Asheville Poetry Review. Feature poet: Landon Godfrey, whose book of poems, “Second-Skin Rhinestone-Spangled Nude Soufflé Chiffon Gown,” selected by David St. John for the Cider Press book award, will be published February 2011. Come join us and share your work with one of the best crowds in Asheville. The Pulp is located underneath The Orange Peel on Biltmore Avenue. See you there!

If you are unfamiliar with Landon’s work, I recorded on of her readings at the Flood Reading Series, Sunday March 29, 2009. Should be another fine evening at PULP tomorrow night. I look forward to seeing you there.

Field notes

with the clutter of today’s music, i find it refreshing to listen & sonically soak in the sounds of gregorian chants like Kyrie & Gloria…